Lose Control Read online

  By the pool, in the hallway, on the bed, in the shower, on the bed again—the whole night had been mind-blowing and insanely hot. The way he commanded her, flipped her around, pounded into her, consumed her with his mouth and body. He had her trembling and shattering each and every time he told her to let go, taking her to heights where her climaxes had felt like the very earth shook below her. None of her ex-boyfriends or lovers had ever had the ability to manipulate her body like he could. As if he knew exactly what she desired. How she would respond, and how far he could push her limits.

  Yes. Myles was a force all of his own that took exactly what he wanted to satisfy his need for control. There was probably a hand print branded on her skin to prove it. But she damn well liked every stroke, rough grip, and slap. Cassie wasn’t sure what that said about her and, honestly, couldn’t care less. Now that she had a taste, it was an impossibility for her not to want more—more of him, more of what he was capable of giving, and more of what he kept hidden from view just below the surface. Because for all that no-nonsense, unyielding temperament and rigid exterior, underneath was an entirely different man who was both warm and affectionate.

  That Myles had pulled her close, trailed light kisses along her forehead, and whispered how beautiful she was as they lied in bed exhausted and sated. That one had cradled her against his chest while she slept, and in less than a day, managed to reach in and tug at something deep inside. She wasn’t sure how, but this intriguingly complicated man had gotten to her and she wanted to know everything about him.

  “Cassie. Are you going to say something or continue to stare at me with that smile on your face?”

  What? Crap. “Um, sorry. Thank you. You didn’t have to go to all the trouble of bringing me breakfast.”

  Myles shrugged. “Don’t thank me. It was more of a bribe.”

  Cassie chewed on that tidbit of information for a second and concluded it didn’t make a lick of a difference. No matter what ulterior motives he might have or said he had, she was sticking with the original thoughtful and sweet theory. Call her curious, though. “A bribe for what?”

  “Motivation. There are some things that need to get done and put together before the meeting today. Since I had much more important and pressing matters needing my immediate attention last evening, we didn’t get much work accomplished.” Winking, he reached behind him and handed her a T-shirt. “Here put this on.”

  Did she have to cover herself up? She was hoping to do a little motivating herself. They could squeeze in a quickie before getting down to the work stuff, right? “So, the idea of watching me eat in the nude doesn’t appeal to you?”

  “Baby, I will always prefer you naked. But if I see that gorgeous body for more than a second, I promise you the only person who will be eating is me when I bury my head between your legs. Now, get that luscious ass moving.” Myles lightly swatted at the side of her leg. Even playful, his words and actions held an air of authority that thrilled her in all the right places.

  Oh, she’d be getting up alright. But, she wasn’t putting the shirt on. The idea of him dining on her for breakfast sounded way too delicious, and she was going to do whatever was in her power to tempt him into doing just that. If her quickly formed plan worked and if he asked later, she would swear it was all totally innocent and in no way was she intentionally trying to get him interested in foregoing everything for a little morning pick-her-up.

  Giving him what she hoped was an angelic smile and nod, she slowly began pulling the covers down in a makeshift striptease. Satisfaction rippled through her as his eyes left hers and he hungrily watched the blankets inch down to her waist. With her breasts exposed and Myles devouring them with his stare, Cassie added the cherry to her little seductive sundae by lifting her arms, arching her back ever so slightly into a stretch, and giving an appreciative throaty moan.

  She watched as his chest heaved and his body grew tense. This might be easier than she’d thought. A little more incentive and he’d be hers. Bringing her arms down, she “accidentally” brushed up against his bicep and then ran her hand down, feeling the contours of his muscles as she continued to his leg and then to finally rest on the bed next to him.

  Cassie readied herself and went to hoist herself into a sitting position. One that would just happen to, and of course coincidentally, put her up close and personal to her intended target—him. When she sat up, though, the sheets scraping against the still tender flesh of her butt cheek and her inner thighs protesting the movement caused an involuntary wince to escape.

  Whoa, she ached. The residual tenderness on her backside and achiness in her more private area was definitely a good feeling. It was one that came as a reminder of their marathon sex session. Nonetheless, and the good ache aside, there was quite a bit of other soreness going on in the lower region of her body.

  The man needed to come with a warning label. Remember to stretch for fifteen minutes prior to engaging in any physical activity. He’d put her in positions that used muscles she’d forgotten she had, and not so subtly reminded her of how she’d been neglecting the gym for far too long. With the way she felt, Cassie could probably skip the monthly membership fee and just continue to have sex with him. Now, that would be one incredibly persuasive way to get her to work out.

  Cassie looked up, ready to joke about how out of shape she was, and froze when she saw the deep frown lines marring his forehead and the muscle ticking along his jaw as he studied her. A habitual smiley person he wasn’t, but currently, he looked almost…angry?

  “Myles?”

  He didn’t reply and Cassie searched his face as he searched her body. What was he doing? Making sure all her parts were in the right place? His eyes scanned over her, scrutinizing every inch until they stopped and glared at an area at edge of the blanket. She watched his features darken even more and his jaw worked at double time speed.

  What had him so pissed he looked like he could spit nails? Looking down, she saw a circle of purplish-colored skin on her hip. Myles reached out and pulled the blanket down, further exposing more patches that resembled the shape of fingerprints. Tight-lipped and voice low, Myles finally spoke. “Why didn’t you stop me?” His eyes flashed up to hers, revealing a pain within him she didn’t understand. “You should have stopped me. I hurt you.”

  Stop him? Was he serious? He had her at the first slap. There wasn’t any stopping after that. Cassie read the all-too-real concern and guilt written in his features and her heart clenched in her chest. For whatever reason, he was truly upset and she instinctively wanted to reassure him that it was nothing.

  Hesitantly, she reached out and gently placed her hand on his cheek. Could she touch him? Did the same rules apply during the day like they did when they were having sex? When he didn’t back away or balk, she stared into his eyes, making sure there was no uncertainty about what she was about to say. “No, Myles, you didn’t. There wasn’t one moment or anything you did that hurt me. I might be sore, but that’s because I’m out of practice. Not because of you. And that…” Cassie glanced down at the marks he found so offensive and then quickly returned to him. “Is nothing. I’m fine. Better than fine.”

  Myles gave her look that told her he wasn’t as convinced as she was, pulled her hand off his cheek, and abruptly stood up. Taking the tray, he placed it on her lap and turned on his heels. “Eat something,” he said over his shoulder as he walked over to the glass doors that led to the private deck and left her alone.

  Cassie watched him leave and shook her head. What was that about? It was just some bruises. Hell, to her, they were like a badge of honor. Been there, done that, and got the marks to prove it. If he hadn’t rushed out like he couldn’t get away from her fast enough, she might’ve been able to convince him of that.

  No use in trying now. The stubborn set of his jaw told her he wouldn’t listen even if she followed after him and tried again. Sighing, she leaned back against the pillows. Guess she was eating alone after all.

  Chapter Sixr />
  What the hell was wrong with him?

  Myles painfully gripped the railing of the deck, closed his eyes, and forced himself to take a few deep breaths of fresh air. It wasn’t going to work. Nothing would. Not even Cassie trying to reassure him could take away the self-disgust churning in his gut.

  He’d hurt her. The proof had been right there on her beautiful skin and he hated himself for it. Hated how his own selfish needs had overpowered his sensibility, and even worse, how he’d taken advantage of her trust. Myles had told her he’d never hurt her and what did he do? He’d lost control and took her with such disregard for her wellbeing that he left a fucking bruise. It was unforgiveable, and Cassie would soon realize the same and run in the opposite direction. He knew from experience that’s what happened next. She wasn’t the first woman he’d ever hurt.

  Four months. That’s how long it had taken him to build the closest thing he’d ever gotten to a relationship and destroy it. His ex was the only one who had seen the dark side of him, his needs, who he truly was. She wanted to work it out, give him and them a chance. The condition had been simple—at least, to her. She’d stay if he changed. What else could he do? He’d been in love and would’ve done whatever it took to make her happy. So, he agreed.

  Christ, he’d been so stupid to think it could’ve worked. That wrapping up his desires in a tight little bow and tucking that part of himself away wouldn’t have had any consequences. It was like putting a cork in a geyser and hoping it would hold. It was just a matter of time before he would blow and a few weeks later, he’d blown it in a very big way.

  In celebration of his birthday, she’d surprised him with a party for one, complete with a skimpy outfit, satin ropes, and an offer to do whatever he pleased. The words had barely left her lips before he was ripping off her clothes. He put her on her knees, tied her wrists to the bedposts, yanked her head back, and rode her like a fucking bucking bronco. The whole time telling her how much it had killed him to not be able to take what was his in the way he wanted. And when he was done, he took her again. Mercilessly tearing into her like a man possessed, man-handling her, and unleashing everything that had built up inside of him for those weeks.

  Never once did she whimper, complain, or tell him to stop. He’d thought everything was okay. That she’d given him a gift by allowing him to be who he was, take what he needed if only for a night, and he loved her even more for it.

  None of it had been okay, though. The next day, she’d met him at the door, suitcase in hand and tears in her eyes. She called him an animal. Told him he’d hurt her, and showed him the marks on her wrists left by him pulling her so roughly against the restraints. Said he scared her and she couldn’t continue living with him wondering what he was truly capable of or how far he would go the next time. She’d said he couldn’t possibly love her because what he’d done wasn’t how people showed they cared for another. What that showed was the only person he could truly care about was himself.

  The most screwed up part to all of it, all of him, was that he had cared. It was the emotions that unraveled him, tore down the walls that kept him in check, and exposed him at his core—a lustful, possessive, dominating prick.

  Since then, he made a point of keeping it casual with women. Never allowing himself to get too close and always being honest about what they could expect in the bedroom. Myles would give them a choice and, more often than not, their curiosity would draw them in. He knew he was nothing more than a taste of something different to spice up their sex lives on a short-term basis. Get their kicks, get it rough, and get out. When the excitement wore off, they would go in search of someone who was normal, with normal needs and desires. Someone who could make love, not fuck.

  That was what he’d been accustomed to, what he’d come to terms with, what he’d preferred. There wasn’t any chance of anyone getting hurt that way. There weren’t any emotions, just sex. He wasn’t a long-term type of guy and hadn’t even considered the possibility of anything more until Cassie walked into his office and back into his life.

  The way she reacted and responded to him, how she eagerly begged for more, gave him hope that she truly wanted what he could offer, that it could be more than a few days and nights together. Because he did—he wanted more and had already planned on talking to her about seeing where whatever this was between them could go.

  Not anymore.

  Myles stalked over to the hot tub and flicked the switch to turn it on. No, with her, he couldn’t hold himself back and didn’t think clearly. He would lose control, lose himself in her and give into the insatiable need to claim every inch of her. Hurting her again was inevitable and when he did, she would leave and seek out the gentleness he wasn’t able to give. The only outcome was pain for both of them. The only solution was to keep his distance. He had to put an end to this before he did something else he’d regret and before she ended up hating him as much as he did right now.

  After the meeting, they would leave instead of staying another day, and when they got back to the city, they could go their separate ways. His chest tightened at the thought of never seeing her again. But, what alternative was there? What could he possibly offer her? His idea of love was twisted and brought with it demands, submission, and bruises. Cassie should be with someone who could treat her with respect, make her smile and laugh, and who could show her in a physical way how much she was cared for. And that someone wasn’t him.

  Decision made, Myles walked back into the bedroom to find her still in bed and completely naked. The woman was going to be death of him. How was he expected to resist her when she wouldn’t even put clothes on?

  Myles firmly planted his feet, refusing to give in to the temptation or the thoughts running through his head. Like how he wanted to restrain and torture her with his tongue for hours for disobeying him. This wasn’t about what he wanted, though. This was about what she deserved.

  “Cassie. Where are your bathing suits?”

  “In my overnight bag. Why? Are we actually going to go swimming or were you hoping for a repeat of our poolside activities?” Cassie smiled and waggled her eyebrows at him. “Better yet, how about we get in the pool and I show you the advantages of being slippery when wet.”

  Fighting the urge to chuckle and groan at the same time, Myles went to her bag he’d brought to his room while she was still asleep. Grabbing one of her bikinis, he went to the bed and placed it by her side. “No, you are going to get in the hot tub. The water should help with the soreness.”

  Cassie looked up at him and furrowed her brows. “What do mean you are going to get in? Aren’t you coming in with me?”

  “No.” He had no intentions of joining her. Being that close would play havoc with his self-control.

  Crossing her arms under her breasts, she shook her head. “Then it’s a no for me, too.”

  “Don’t argue with me, Cassie. You are getting in the hot tub.”

  “Oh no, I’m not. Not without you anyway.”

  Myles silently prayed for patience and the willpower not to put her over his knee and spank her ass until it turned cherry red for her defiance. His cock twitched at the idea as a burning need grew low in his gut. Her saying no to him was like throwing gas on a fire. One more time and he would explode. The only option was to concede.

  “Fine. I’ll get my swim trunks.”

  Cassie gave him a smug smile and threw the covers off of her. Standing, she picked up her suit. “What are you waiting for?”

  Seeing her standing there naked, exposing every inch of her soft skin, caused every muscle in his body to protest at not taking her. The woman had no idea what she did to him. Or maybe she did and that was the point. Either way, the result was the same and Myles quickly went into the bathroom to change before he lost what little resolve he was holding on to.

  Turning on the faucet to hide the groan he’d been biting back, he shook his head at his reflection in the mirror. If he was going to make it through the rest of the day, he was going to nee
d to do one hell of a better job at reining in his desire. Glancing down at his cock, halfway to a full hard-on, he turned the faucet off and the shower on—cold. Keeping his distance was proving harder than he anticipated. Literally.

  After dousing himself in what he was sure was the equivalent of freezing rain, Myles put on his trunks and went back out to the bedroom to find himself alone. Assuming she got tired of waiting, he headed in the direction of the hot tub and stilled when he saw her relaxing in the water, eyes closed and…moaning. The familiar deep sound instantly brought back images of her head thrown back, lips parted, and her writhing under him. Christ, what was he thinking? Getting in there with her would be a test he wasn’t sure he could pass.

  Sensing his presence, Cassie lazily opened one of her eyes. “Get in. It feels amazing.”

  Myles went to the opposite side and lowered himself him. Needing something, anything, to focus on other than how heated and slick her skin looked or the way her wet suit clung to her erect nipples, he decided a conversation about work should help keep his mind off of the parts of him that were coming to life—for the second time in less than an hour. Clearly, cold showers only worked when you were actually in them.

  “So, how did you get involved with working as a temporary assistant? Why not something more permanent or substantial?”

  “My mother paid you to ask me that, didn’t she?” Cassie lifted her head and smiled at him. “Truth be told, I like working there. It suits me. I’m not one for settling down or doing the same thing day in and day out. I get bored too easily. Change is good. It’s what keeps life interesting. Even in college, I had gone through majors faster than the counselors could file the paperwork. I finally settled on a business degree because I couldn’t figure out anything else and was running out of time. Unless, of course, I wanted to be a career student. I just couldn’t make myself choose something that I would be stuck with for the rest of my life. I swear that’s the reason I never got a tattoo. Didn’t want to make the lifelong commitment.”